why do you shun my eyes
why do you look away from my glance
why do you not even care about my mere existence
anymore?
it hurts me when i see you like this.
i am sorry that things had to turn out this way.
it just happened so fast,
it seemed like just yesterday when we
sat at the stone table to talk things out.
that time, you could look pass everything
and pretend like nothing happened.
but i could not.
but why is it that things have to reach such a stage,
that you refuse to even acknowledge my presence now?
i know that no matter how much i apologise,
the hurt will still be there and it'll be difficult
for you to look pass it.
does that mean we cant even be friends?
i miss you,
the good times and bad
that we both shared.
without any holding back.
we freely spilt our thoughts.
i want those days back.
it pierces my heart to know that the one i was once closest to,
meeting almost everyday,
and even chatting with till the wee hours of the night,
cannot even be bothered at all now.
if it does even matter to you,
i want you to know that i still think
about the good old times.
movies
tauhuay
dark chocolate
punggol park
and who could forget,
adoration room?
the question you asked me,
recurs in my head countless times whenever i think of you:
would it have been different if you'd agreed to come to the club.
the answer is yes.
as much as i know it's brought you anger and bitterness,
i want you to know that i feel unbearable pain when
i think of all the possible
"what ifs"
should you have come
and made that difference.
i still cannot forgive myself that i had to do this to you when it was nearing your exams.
it is not fair to you,
because you deserve so much more,
and so much better,
especially since you'd been hurt before.
i must admit that i have done you wrong.
but to deny me as even a friend,
is really heartless.
as much as i hate being treated this way,
i so know that i deserve this.
other than sorry,
what can i do so that you would face me and
look me in the eye?
you are important,
you matter to me.
i will hate myself if i had to lose you forever
because you had given me so much,
more than i asked for,
i want to reciprocate.
would you give me a chance to,
dear friend?