am i doing it right,
am i doing it wrong.
i have no idea.
this is something i've never done before
and never dared to.
but i'm just tired.
so tired for now.
need to get my energy back.

you are tired as well.
how i've made you suffer with me
though you dont deserve.
miss you miss you so.

please eat your meals properly.
that is so important,
pains me to know if you get gastric.

I keep dialling, it never got through. But I still keep dialling.
What a fool, what a joke..
How to stop thinking? Can't stop. Can't stop.

Le le. I was walking home from the mrt and was under your house.
Like so tempted to shout from the bus stop.
But of course I didn't. Don't wanna over do it.
Feel like crap all day today.
The ultimatum climaxed when jac dropped the polaroid cam,
My heart sank. I was so scared.
What if something bad happened to one of the last gift from you to me?
My heart.. So heavy..
So tired, so dreary.
So in need of you.

Because i wanna be with you in the future, forever..
Even if I am dying to see you now, I will control myself.
This feeling is awful. But at least, I know it will be worth it

Did I hear you right
cause I thought you said
Let's think it over
You have been my life
And I never planned
Growing old without you

Shadows bleeding through the light
Where the love once shined so bright
Came without a reason
Don't let go on us tonight
Love's not always black and white
Haven't I always loved you?

But when I need you
You're almost here
And I know that's not enough
And when I'm with you
I'm close to tears
'cause your only almost here

I would change the world
If I had a chance
Oh won't you let me
Treat me like a child
Throw your arms around me
Oh please protect me

Bruised and battered by your words
Dazed and shattered now it hurts
Haven't I always loved you

But when I need you
You're almost here
And I know that's not enough
And when I'm with you
I'm close to tears
'cause your only almost here

Bruised and battered by your words
Dazed and shattered now it hurts
Haven't I always loved you

But when I need you
You're almost here
Well I never knew how far behind I'd left you
And when I hold you your almost here
Well I'm sorry that I took our love for granted
And now I'm with you I'm close to tears
'cause I know I'm almost here
Only almost here

I really really still love you a lot a lot.
What is my world now?
I am not strong, really.

Polar told me I'd be fine, and that I am much stronger than this. But it only occurred to me there and then, that you'd been with me for such a long time, I have long forgotten how to be strong on my own. How to move ahead and be strong when the key to my engine is gone.

How to say, so many things in my mind, and in my box. To forget and move on (ever), is impossible. Why couldn't I just be more calm yesterday.

Come back to me, with all your heart
Don't let fear keep us apart
Trees do bend, though straight and tall
So must we, to others call
Long have I waited for your coming home to me
And living deeply our new life

This song was written by Hosea, a man in the bible.
His wife committed adultery with other men,
But God gave him the strength to forgive her and want her back.
She didn't repent for a long time,
but he carried on waiting for her,
to come back and live deeply their new life.

Isn't this sweet?

I'm at the polyclinic now and I see an old lady pushing her husband on the wheel chair, tired but eager.

mind's a mess now. dont know whether this is going to be the real one.
it feels like it but i am so. not. ready.
it was totally unexpected.
why, was there nothing we couldnt work out anymore?

i dont believe i wont change.
i will.
and when the time comes when i finally can,
i will find you back.

all i ask, and will ever ever ask of you is just this one last request.
why do you say no?

i miss you. i miss you so so so much.

wo bu kuai le

:'(

Thank you.
If you're still single by 26,
Marry me will you?
I'm serious.

please keep my favourite polaroid well.
it's irreplaceable, just like you.

I've been selfish because I don't want us to boil down to nothing.