my music story ends here for now. i'm quite sad. but i'll resume it after o levels. =)

CCA's coming to an end.
all of a sudden.
i feel as if so many things were left unfinished.
i'm not about prepared to just stop everything now on 7th april.
i wonder wad fridays will be like.
no training.
ever again.
will kinda miss it.
the fact that i've been doing the same thing
for 4 years non stop.
i guess it's a matter of time that
i have to stop.

time really flies like a butterfly.
O level's coming in 7months.
and i barely started on anything.

HA

all that crap about aiming less than 10 for Os.
i'm really giving that aim a miss i guess.
CJC.
if i can.
SAJC.
if i wish.
RJC.
if i die.

LOL.

wad rubbish.

it's been quite sometime since i last updated. nothing to update about. my life described in a four letter word, SIAN. haha. wad were you thinking. but recently, something happened that changed my life quite some bit.

Crossroads

SYD Youth Rally!!!

it was an awesome night. really. the spirit was there. truely. though i was filming like, all the time, i got some what influenced by the spirit. =D it was nice. this is probably the other best spiritual encounter after jb camp.

i was supposed to help in logistics initially. but due to my absence to numerous rally practices, clare put me in media, camera crew. and trust me, it was an experience of a lifetime. i was told to handle the portable video cam, and my first reaction (in my heart) was a four letter word (again), shit. cos i knew i had shaky hands. and i wasn't going to do a good job. but ended up, it was quite ok. 2 ics for media, leandro and ryan. 2 other camera people from nativity, leonard and vanessa. nice people there. :) ha. i was supposed to carry a transmitter, a walkie talkie, a head set, and a video cam everywhere i went. not bad eh.

during the actual shoot, i seriously panicked. my hand shook more than during rehearsal times. ahh. i was so angry with myself. and i kept forgetting to press the 'record' button. shucks! well, the most terrifying momnet was, i mus say, during the procession of the blessed sacrament. i was supposed to film the procession and walk backwards simultaneously. oh oh. wad if i trip over some wires and malu myself in front of everyone?? leandro was like "you won't fall, trust me, you won't". and i was like "how you know? wad if i screw things up?" and on and on. so as i was filming the procession, he pull me all the way till up the stage. and everything went smoothly. PRAISE GOD. :)

after that, was the final praise n worship. the atmosphere was so HIGH. everyone had their hands in the air, singing shouting and having fun. and me.. i was filming, hand ache, shoulder ache, arm ache. but seeing everyone in the audi praising God, i totally forgot the pain. :) then finally at the last stage when i could put down the cam, i ran all the way to the 5th row, where i could see the screen, and did wad i wanted to for the past hour: sing and clap my hands.

youth rally has exposed me to many new things, gadgets and gizmos, and people. i think i'm beginning to like filming. =D though it's tiring (totally!). i think it was worth every bit. though it's complicated, i kinda got the hang of it. so ya. and the best part was, i got to know a couple of media savvy people, and it's really good.

now, my right hand is suffering from post "holding the camera for 4 hours straight" syndrome.

yay. today wore 3-inch heels for 10hours! for the grooming course. haha. wad an achievement!
wahaha.

i cant wait to get out of secondary school.
yes!
10 more months only rowena!
you can endure.
you have already endured for 3 yrs.
10 months is nothing.

wow.
in the blink of an eye.
it's almost christmas!
how time really flies.
well.
one event that played a major role in my life
during this december.
yes.
none other than the JB church retreat to tanjong puteri golf resort.
it was really nice.
praise and worship.
spiritual sessions.
games.
HUGS!
i am simply in LOVE with this camp.

a few major happenings during the camp.
we had the passion scene.
where we were supposed to drink wine
as in wine dat jesus took at the
last supper.
the sad thing was:
i didn't feel anything at all.
almost everyone in the room cried.
sheesh.
i thought i was abnormal.

then the second night.
laying of hands and praying over.
i did not feel anything at all.
i was getting scared.
then later we sang
POWER OF YOUR LOVE.
that was when i felt it.
wow.
tears just poured out.
ok.
now i felt it.
the holy spirit.
: )

last day.
washing of feet.
samantha lee washed my feet.
i was so touched.
really.
never expected this friend.
who is actually very "tai tai"
to wash my feet for me.
that is love.
it was supposed to be a serious moment.
but after washing feet.
many of us went to the back to talk.
Fr Bosco was upset.
really upset.
he told us to reflect.
all of us were solemn when we left the room.

then it was mass.
Fr Bos' mood suddenly changed.
he said that sad stuff aside.
we were goin to celebrate the eucharist.
: )

after mass.
we had more HUGS.
and we got back our warm fuzzies.
: D

i'm beginning to like church camps for the first time.
GOD ROCKS THE WORLD MAN.
Our boss, Fr Bosco too!
haha.

You think I'm an ignorant savage
And you've been so many places; I guess it must be so
But still I cannot see, if the savage one is me
How can there be so much that you don't know?
You don't know...

You think you own whatever land you land on
The earth is just a dead thing you can claim
But I know every rock and tree and creature
Has a life, has a spirit, has a name.

You think the only people who are people
Are the people who look and think like you
But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger
You'll learn things you never knew you never knew

Have you ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon
Or asked the grinning bobcat why he grinned
Can you sing with all the voices of the mountain
Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?
Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?

Come run the hidden pine trails of the forest
Come taste the sun-sweet berries of the earth
Come roll in all the riches all around you
And for once never wonder what they're worth

The rainstorm and the river are my brothers
The heron and the otter are my friends
And we are all connected to each other
In a circle, in a hoop that never ends

How high can the sycamore grow?
If you cut it down then you'll never know

And you'll never hear the wolf cry to the blue corn moon
For whether we are white or coloured skinned
We need to sing with all the voices of the mountain
We need to paint with all the colours of the wind

You can own the earth and still
All you'll own is earth until
You can paint with all the colours of the wind

wtfh man.

all this bullshit that i write.
means nothing at all.

just want to be silent now.
really
-silent-

sometimes, i guess there are things which you have to let go. you cant cling on to them for long. it's not up to you, whether you want it or not, rather, it's up to whether that thing wants to cling on to you.

you may think it's funny, but did you realise that it is when you have lost something that you realise its true worth. Usually when it is just by your side, you do not even give a damn. you treat it like as if it will be by your side forever.
but you're wrong.

however, even when you lost something, that is so dear and precious to you, you have to move on nonetheless. you cant keep thinking and brooding about that thing. you still have to move on in life.

you only live this once, so treasure the things that are within your reach now. and don't wait until they are gone that you realise their true worth.

today spent like 5 hours at exPo.
at Sitex 2005.
there were many BIG companies.
like Dell, Creative, Compac, Toshiba, Hitachi, Starhub, Nokia, NEC, Razer, D-link, Philips, Hewlett packard, Harvey Norman, Apple, JVC, Panasonic, Sony, BenQ, Acer, Akira, Canon, Samsung
and the list goes on, you name it, they got it.

and i went there to give out flyers.
not easy finding a prime spot to give out,
and people give you that sort of "get away frm my territory" look..
but good thing i thick skin
dun care abt how ppl look at me.
jus give and give.
many rejections.
i saw ppl literally crushing the paper in front of my face.
but wad to do.
this is life.
=)

i'm so tired now!
just finish watching "she diao ying xiong zhuan"
on channel U.
it's super nice!!
with all those martial arts experts.
damn cool!
whoohoo!
really worth watching.
haha.

anyway.
tmr i'm goin expo again.
it's last day of Sitex.

these few days have been..
went thru 2 job interviews.
and end up with NO job.
one was due to religion problem.
another was a fraud.

the first job interview involve selling calenders
with indian gods in it.
we were supposed to sell it at
yishun open field,
where they had some indian celebrations.
my dad strictly disagreed.

the second job.
we thought it would be safe.
we went thru interview..
got the job.
it ended up being a fraud,
a cheat company.
Jue shi marketing.
it has means of cheating ppl
into filling in lucky draws.
and upon collecting the ppl's particulars,
they just treat them like shit.
i chanced upon a forum criticising this company,
which i suppose is affiliated to Oriental Travel.
my parents were oso cheated by Oriental Travel.
wad bad luck.
thank GOD my mum strictly disagreed to me working
so i quit before the rest.
later at night.
we had conference.
and surfed the net for Jue Shi Marketing (JSM)
all their scams/frauds/cheats filled the results page.
wth.

anyway.
it's thru these trials we face
that mould us into wiser ppl
who are able to discern.
and to prepare us for the harsh reality
of the ourside world, which
awaits us..

harry potter and the goblet of fire was a blast!!!

very nice!!

everyone should watch it!! man oh man.

i'm so addicted to harry potter now.

think i might go read the whole series.

yea.. ashamed to say that i have nvr read a single HP book. =p

went for a job interview too.

and got the job.

working together with eliz sam huimin

hope i earn the bucks!

ahh.. so many THINGS happen

and i guess i kinda grow more mature as a result of

these THINGS.

i dunno..

jac and eunice told me

about..

ME.

how i changed and all..

why is it so difficult

to tell me things straight to my face?

is it that hard?

it took me a long time before i culd squeeze info from those 2 ppl.

supposedly my good frens.

in fact i think 2 of my closest frens.

why.

why..

why...

but i've been thinking.

thinking deep.

i'll change for the better.

back to the old me.

yes.

i'll try.

=)

sad things aside.

tmr i'm gonna watch harry potter and the goblet of fire preview!!

i'm gonna watch before everyone else does!!

yeah!!!

i'm so fascinated.

cos everyone knows i hardly see movies.

and now..

thanks to aggie and rachel..

book ticket for me before i even agree.

the miraculous thing being..

my mum allowed!!!

aaHAHA.

this is simply hilarious.

i'm over the moon.

yeah..

shan't think about unhappy things.

always look on the bright side of life!

-ciao

to all who read my blog:


please read the entries in a positive light. there is NO hidden meaning in whatever i write in my blog. so if anyone of you are unhappy with what i write, you can say it to my face, and i will explain what i mean to you personally.

THANK YOU