got back midyr results.
ok.
i'm not happy.
now the next headache is CHINESE Os!!!
i'm so anxious!
really really really hope to get A1.
i really really pray hard that i get it.
den i'll go back to primary school
and make my chinese teacher proud!
hah!

13-16 june is tripartite camp.
i'm most prob going.
but if gerald doesn't go,
den i'll probably give it a miss.
18 june is confirmation!
WOOHOO!
finally.
after 4YEARS!!!!!!
WOW.
CANT believe this is gonna be over soon.
quite gonna miss sunday classes.
but i ain't gonna miss that stupid person.
another headache.
havent gotten myself a confirmation name!
ahh!

this june hols will probably be quite a balance.
holidays and homework that is.
i promise myself to do revision everyday during the month of june.
lol as if i'd really do it.

i've plan my post chinese os programme.
and top on the list is
poseidon at omni theatre!
yay.
ok, so far i havent asked anyone abt it.
gonna do so aft Os.

going to pass out when school reopens.
i heard the cca dept plans to make the passing out parade small scale!
man!
why must it be during my year!
i want a prim and proper POP.
how can it be so small scale!
damn!
not being able to wear number one uniform is bad enough,
now they actually want to shrink POP to such a puny event,
WAD IS THIS!
i want to complain!!!!!

heard this on radio,
kinda miss it :)

here i go
scream my lungs out
and try to get to you
you are my only one
i let go
there's just no one
who gets me like you do
you are my only
my only one.

so many things happened.
first and foremost.
pap won aljunied!
damn,
gotta see cynthia phua for the next 5yrs of meet-the-ppl sessions.
b o r i n g
i want sylviaLIM!
hai. this is God's will i guess.
nvm, by next election, i'll be able to vote (21yrs old!!!)
and WP, i'm behind u always. =D

Wednesday was the last exam day.
paper was only an hour,
afterwhich.
went ps to watch Mission Impossible III.
we watched the 11am show,
there were less than 10 ppl in the cinema.
ha.
the show was good.
and i agree with rachel lim.
Maggie Q is really sexy.
it's worth watching.
i wanna watch poseidon too!
BAdly!
actually i wanted to watch da vinci code,
but my dad strictly said NO.
saying how hollywood make millions of dollars by insulting our faith (in the book they said that Jesus married mary magdalene, etc..)
at first i thought my dad was crazy.
but later on it seemed quite true that the catholic faith was BADLY MISUNDERSTOOD by danBROWN's book.
i've had my fair share of bad experiences.
people coming to me aft reading the bk and asking me whether did Jesus really marry mary magdalene and had a child in france.
i mean.
please.
how is it possible to haf a child with maryMagdalene if Jesus died on the cross?
it is crystal clearly stated in the Bible.
i've read the book,
but it was totally fictional from my point of view.
it seem like some adventure story if you ask me.
and i read it just for the thrill.
in fact danBROWN's book clearly stated that this book is fictional.
but the funny thing is,
he also claimed that his story was based on historical events.
isn't this contradiction?
blah.
danBROWN.
and my dad was so against me watching the movie,
that he told me he'd rather me buy the pirated vcd of that show
than spend my money on the movie.
heard that he actually wrote to petitionsonline.com
to ban da vinci code from being screened in s'pore.
haha.
that's my dad.

well..
exams are over too.
made a grave mistake this midyr.
i totally didn't take it seriously.
very slack.
on thurs got back 2 subjects.
ss and eng.
for ss, i'm grateful that i passed.
and i promise NEVER to spot questions again, ever.
wow, amazing that i passed. hee.
for english, i'm disappointed in myself.
was a total letdown.
i'm going to start reading, and i'm gonna make it a habit.

chinese Os is coming.
i'm scared.
cos i dunno how to study for it.
but i'll just do wad i can.
hai!!

exams are almost over.
i have only amaths and science paper1 left.
i feel like i havent accomplished much this SA1.
Probably it's because there's still prelims..
then O levels.

well, the worst day during this whole exam period was on wednesday.
yes.
i had bio and history paper.
2 mind boggling subjects.
so much memorising to do!
so little time!
i spent the whole tuesday night, till 2am
studying all the bio and not a single shit of history.
bio was bad.
the first question was: Define Hormones.
and i was like.. shit!
i learnt the function of an adrenal medulla
and they chose to ask me the basic of the basics!
really felt like slapping myself.
bio ended at 930.
history was coming up at 12.

after bio went cp to meet huimin for breakfast cum study history.
great. i was finally able to open the history textbook.
yes. my history SA1, i had only 1hr 30mins to study for it at cp before i go back to school to sit for the exam.
really didn't know if i could cramp all the info into my brain.
espcially since i chose to do cold war, something which has not been tested before.
huimin studied war in pacific.
haha quite interesting though.
all the gorbachev roosevelt and harry truman
started floating in my mind.
nice!
i love history!
and UN too!
success and failures!
hehh.
i'm a history freak.

anyway.
thanks to huimin and her way of teaching,
i managed to squeeze all the impt necesary facts into my brain and at 1130,
we left cp.

the exam went quite smoothly i must say.
i started off with essay first.
i wanted to regurgitate all that i studied.
then focus my mind on source base ques.
this was quite a good strategy u know.

haha

tuesday was chemistry.
not that bad.

thurs was emath p2.
nightmare!
goodness gracious.
never knew cherry lim could set such high standard paper.
lol.

today, friday.. chinese.
i totally didn't prepare anything for chinese.
on thurs night,
i followed my parents to catch a glimpse of Workers' party last rally at AngMoKio.
but it was so ultra crowded,
we made a detour and went home.
quite a wasted trip.
not only did it waste my time,
i could have used the time to do some chinese revision.
anwyay.
on the way back,
my dad kind of gave me a mini "rally" in the car.
he was telling me how he really felt about PAP and WP.
and i must say..
looks can be deceiving.

fridy was npcc day.
we had some sort of a parade thing.
then mrs chan read mr charles chong's msg.
mr chong is such a poor thing.
not only have to prepare for the general elections at his pasir ris-punggol grc,
still have to get involved in npcc celebrations.
i pity his situaion.
must be so stressful.
wore the full uni for the first paper,
then later we changed.

after school went cp to get wi's present.
hope he likes it!
went uncle for tuition.
not very productive.
did only one exam paper.
then left.

now as i'm typing this,
i feel so tired.
but satisfied as well.
cos i havent written such a long post in years.
well.
although i know no one will bother reading.
it really feels great to be able to type wad u really feel about something
or someone..
haha.

mid year is here now.
but it's not haunting me.
in fact, i'm taking it lightly.
a step at a time.
my progress is really slow.

the hottest topic in town!!
General Election 2006!
:D
yay,
i support WP.
haha. opposition.
asked many people.
and they told me their parents are:
father vote PAP
mother vote opposition.
or vice versa.
neutral.

hai.
thinking of her
the happy times where we used to crap a lot.
really miss those times.
why is she treating me like that now?
it's not that i wanted all this to happen.

ok relax.
i'm straight.
i'm talking about a friend.
a dear friend of mine whoim i think i've lost.

my music story ends here for now. i'm quite sad. but i'll resume it after o levels. =)

CCA's coming to an end.
all of a sudden.
i feel as if so many things were left unfinished.
i'm not about prepared to just stop everything now on 7th april.
i wonder wad fridays will be like.
no training.
ever again.
will kinda miss it.
the fact that i've been doing the same thing
for 4 years non stop.
i guess it's a matter of time that
i have to stop.

time really flies like a butterfly.
O level's coming in 7months.
and i barely started on anything.

HA

all that crap about aiming less than 10 for Os.
i'm really giving that aim a miss i guess.
CJC.
if i can.
SAJC.
if i wish.
RJC.
if i die.

LOL.

wad rubbish.

it's been quite sometime since i last updated. nothing to update about. my life described in a four letter word, SIAN. haha. wad were you thinking. but recently, something happened that changed my life quite some bit.

Crossroads

SYD Youth Rally!!!

it was an awesome night. really. the spirit was there. truely. though i was filming like, all the time, i got some what influenced by the spirit. =D it was nice. this is probably the other best spiritual encounter after jb camp.

i was supposed to help in logistics initially. but due to my absence to numerous rally practices, clare put me in media, camera crew. and trust me, it was an experience of a lifetime. i was told to handle the portable video cam, and my first reaction (in my heart) was a four letter word (again), shit. cos i knew i had shaky hands. and i wasn't going to do a good job. but ended up, it was quite ok. 2 ics for media, leandro and ryan. 2 other camera people from nativity, leonard and vanessa. nice people there. :) ha. i was supposed to carry a transmitter, a walkie talkie, a head set, and a video cam everywhere i went. not bad eh.

during the actual shoot, i seriously panicked. my hand shook more than during rehearsal times. ahh. i was so angry with myself. and i kept forgetting to press the 'record' button. shucks! well, the most terrifying momnet was, i mus say, during the procession of the blessed sacrament. i was supposed to film the procession and walk backwards simultaneously. oh oh. wad if i trip over some wires and malu myself in front of everyone?? leandro was like "you won't fall, trust me, you won't". and i was like "how you know? wad if i screw things up?" and on and on. so as i was filming the procession, he pull me all the way till up the stage. and everything went smoothly. PRAISE GOD. :)

after that, was the final praise n worship. the atmosphere was so HIGH. everyone had their hands in the air, singing shouting and having fun. and me.. i was filming, hand ache, shoulder ache, arm ache. but seeing everyone in the audi praising God, i totally forgot the pain. :) then finally at the last stage when i could put down the cam, i ran all the way to the 5th row, where i could see the screen, and did wad i wanted to for the past hour: sing and clap my hands.

youth rally has exposed me to many new things, gadgets and gizmos, and people. i think i'm beginning to like filming. =D though it's tiring (totally!). i think it was worth every bit. though it's complicated, i kinda got the hang of it. so ya. and the best part was, i got to know a couple of media savvy people, and it's really good.

now, my right hand is suffering from post "holding the camera for 4 hours straight" syndrome.

yay. today wore 3-inch heels for 10hours! for the grooming course. haha. wad an achievement!
wahaha.

i cant wait to get out of secondary school.
yes!
10 more months only rowena!
you can endure.
you have already endured for 3 yrs.
10 months is nothing.

wow.
in the blink of an eye.
it's almost christmas!
how time really flies.
well.
one event that played a major role in my life
during this december.
yes.
none other than the JB church retreat to tanjong puteri golf resort.
it was really nice.
praise and worship.
spiritual sessions.
games.
HUGS!
i am simply in LOVE with this camp.

a few major happenings during the camp.
we had the passion scene.
where we were supposed to drink wine
as in wine dat jesus took at the
last supper.
the sad thing was:
i didn't feel anything at all.
almost everyone in the room cried.
sheesh.
i thought i was abnormal.

then the second night.
laying of hands and praying over.
i did not feel anything at all.
i was getting scared.
then later we sang
POWER OF YOUR LOVE.
that was when i felt it.
wow.
tears just poured out.
ok.
now i felt it.
the holy spirit.
: )

last day.
washing of feet.
samantha lee washed my feet.
i was so touched.
really.
never expected this friend.
who is actually very "tai tai"
to wash my feet for me.
that is love.
it was supposed to be a serious moment.
but after washing feet.
many of us went to the back to talk.
Fr Bosco was upset.
really upset.
he told us to reflect.
all of us were solemn when we left the room.

then it was mass.
Fr Bos' mood suddenly changed.
he said that sad stuff aside.
we were goin to celebrate the eucharist.
: )

after mass.
we had more HUGS.
and we got back our warm fuzzies.
: D

i'm beginning to like church camps for the first time.
GOD ROCKS THE WORLD MAN.
Our boss, Fr Bosco too!
haha.

You think I'm an ignorant savage
And you've been so many places; I guess it must be so
But still I cannot see, if the savage one is me
How can there be so much that you don't know?
You don't know...

You think you own whatever land you land on
The earth is just a dead thing you can claim
But I know every rock and tree and creature
Has a life, has a spirit, has a name.

You think the only people who are people
Are the people who look and think like you
But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger
You'll learn things you never knew you never knew

Have you ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon
Or asked the grinning bobcat why he grinned
Can you sing with all the voices of the mountain
Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?
Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?

Come run the hidden pine trails of the forest
Come taste the sun-sweet berries of the earth
Come roll in all the riches all around you
And for once never wonder what they're worth

The rainstorm and the river are my brothers
The heron and the otter are my friends
And we are all connected to each other
In a circle, in a hoop that never ends

How high can the sycamore grow?
If you cut it down then you'll never know

And you'll never hear the wolf cry to the blue corn moon
For whether we are white or coloured skinned
We need to sing with all the voices of the mountain
We need to paint with all the colours of the wind

You can own the earth and still
All you'll own is earth until
You can paint with all the colours of the wind

wtfh man.

all this bullshit that i write.
means nothing at all.

just want to be silent now.
really
-silent-

sometimes, i guess there are things which you have to let go. you cant cling on to them for long. it's not up to you, whether you want it or not, rather, it's up to whether that thing wants to cling on to you.

you may think it's funny, but did you realise that it is when you have lost something that you realise its true worth. Usually when it is just by your side, you do not even give a damn. you treat it like as if it will be by your side forever.
but you're wrong.

however, even when you lost something, that is so dear and precious to you, you have to move on nonetheless. you cant keep thinking and brooding about that thing. you still have to move on in life.

you only live this once, so treasure the things that are within your reach now. and don't wait until they are gone that you realise their true worth.

today spent like 5 hours at exPo.
at Sitex 2005.
there were many BIG companies.
like Dell, Creative, Compac, Toshiba, Hitachi, Starhub, Nokia, NEC, Razer, D-link, Philips, Hewlett packard, Harvey Norman, Apple, JVC, Panasonic, Sony, BenQ, Acer, Akira, Canon, Samsung
and the list goes on, you name it, they got it.

and i went there to give out flyers.
not easy finding a prime spot to give out,
and people give you that sort of "get away frm my territory" look..
but good thing i thick skin
dun care abt how ppl look at me.
jus give and give.
many rejections.
i saw ppl literally crushing the paper in front of my face.
but wad to do.
this is life.
=)

i'm so tired now!
just finish watching "she diao ying xiong zhuan"
on channel U.
it's super nice!!
with all those martial arts experts.
damn cool!
whoohoo!
really worth watching.
haha.

anyway.
tmr i'm goin expo again.
it's last day of Sitex.