time is passing so quickly.
project EAGLES and kayaking expedition have both come to an end.
Christmas is soon approaching.
so many new things to look forward to,
as we await the coming of baby Jesus.
I love this period so much.
plus tang is coming home from australia in 2 days time,
i cannot wait!
excitement is filling me to the brim,
i'm almost going to burst!
(=
I love my life.

okay enough of music lyrics for the past few posts.
many things happened.
and in the course of it,
i learnt that trusting people is important,
crucial, in many aspects.

i know i cant always doubt you.
i guess i'll have to trust you.
learn to believe in you.
just like you believed in me.
i'll try my best,
though it's not easy.

i love my guardian angel(:

When I see your smile
tears run down my face
I can't replace
and now that I'm strong
I have figured out
how this world turns cold
and it breaks through my soul
and I know I'll find deep inside me
I can be the one

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
even if saving you sends me to Heaven

It's ok..

Seasons are changing
and waves are crashing
and stars are falling
all for us
the days grow longer
and nights grow shorter

I can show you I'll be the one

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
even if saving you sends me to Heaven
cause you're my...you're my...my...
my true love
my whole heart
please don't throw that away
cause I'm here for you
please don't walk away.
please tell me you'll stay.

Use me as you will
pull my strings just for a thrill
and I know I'll be ok
though my skies are turning gray

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to Heaven

I'm holding on your rope,
Got me ten feet off the ground
And I'm hearing what you say but I just can't make a sound
You tell me that you need me
Then you go and cut me down, but wait
You tell me that you're sorry
Didn't think I'd turn around, and say...

That it's too late to apologize
It's too late
I said it's too late to apologize
It's too late

I'd take another chance, take a fall
Take a shot for you
And I need you like a heart needs a beat

But it's nothing new
I loved you with the a fire red-
Now it's turning blue, and you say...
"Sorry" like the angel
Heaven let me think was you
But I'm afraid...

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, yeah-
I said it's too late to apologize, yeah-
I'm holding on your rope, got me ten feet... off the ground...

Trying to find a way
Getting better every day
And I got you now I'm not alone
All i need in this life is one,
One thing to believe in

I've seen many a face
From young and too old
I've stolen their faith and I have broken their souls
Was here before Christ had forgave you your sins
And paid your price and sealed your fate within
Days have come to an end
Today's the day that we meet again
The self inflicted inebriation guilt never lies

I've been waiting for the chance to reunite this sick romance
Poison never hurt so good
So nice of you to speak of me
Your closest friend and enemy
And holy savior of masochists
Well its the dead end slave
From the alter to the grave
It's the last days of our life
In faith amen

Time, its been so long
And now there's nothing to say
I'm trying so hard to find the words to say
I'm tired of being, now I'm something I'm not
I can't believe and I never thought

Days would come to an end
Well maybe someday we'll meet again
If ever that day never comes
It would be too soon

I've been waiting for the chance to nullify this sick romance
Pull the cord to detonate
So sick of you don't speak of me
The reverend saint of misery
And holy savior of masochist
Well its the dead end slave
From the alter to the grave
It's the last days of our life
Well its the dead end slave
From the alter to the gray
It's the last days of our life
In faith amen

Now I've found a way
Getting better every day
And I got you now I'm not alone
All I need in this life is one
One thing to believe in

Trying to find a way
Getting better every day
And I got you now I'm not alone
All I need in this life is one
One thing to believe in

it's been an awfully long time since i last posted.
but it doesn't really matter since it's rotting and no one sees it.
hahahah.
just want to praise God for some,
or rather, MANY
fantastic things that happened to me.

of course top on the list would be
passing of supp paper!
yes yes.
i know it's not something to be proud of,
but i know that it was only through God that i made it through.
this phrase kept going through my mind
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
oh so true.
this means that i'll be promoting with 34 next year!
it feels so good to be able to promote to the next building.
sweet feeling.
people out there.
be thankful for your promotion yo.
(:

and of course,
in the midst of my boring mugging,
God sent me a special Guardian Angel,
just before Oral Presentation day.
and after that,
has been there to support me and pray for me
every step of the way towards my supp paper.
really cant live without this angel of mine now.

this struck me.

I'll be there for you through it all,
even if saving you sents me to heaven.

I feel so blessed(:
so once again,
THANK AND PRAISE GOD!

it was totally not up to mark,
or should i say,
worse than mid years.
improvements were for the less important subjects.
where's the passion; drive and interest?
why does it seem to have gone just like that?
urgh.
Assurance from friends seem so heart-rendering.
but deep inside,
only you know best.
you know how much you've put in.
10%; Bell Curve; impossible to retain so many; sub papers.
SO surreal.
I feel this pain all over again,
the last time,
in sec3,
experiencing what seemed to be empty promises.
chronologically backwards,
the last last time,
in sec1.
oh all those tears and partings.
yuck.

clara talked about finding joy
"I found the joy of my life. Have you?"
i was quick to think "of course not, my life's all failing"
then,
i looked at the earlier part of that same post,
"That the way to joy is to see things with a simple heart,
a simple attitude,
with simple eyes.
so everytime I get overwhelmed by reality,
I just need to run back to His house,
where there is just me and God.
it was just a wonderful time today.
I feel really really happy.
And I really enjoyed God's presence today.
I really enjoy spending time with Him like this,
finding moments where it's just me and Him."
and it made me smile,
for a while(:
cos the urge to run back to God all over again,
is so great.

it's been eons since i last blogged, according to christianna.
hahahha.
i've grown so so so much in this period!
hahahhaha.
okok, i'm laughing, cos the mood's light, and i'm just loving it.

friends are something true, and i hold dear.
i agree with matthias for a moment,
that friends will always outweigh relationships.
i really don't know what i would do without the bunch of them!
especially christianna and elizabeth.
two people,
this sudden closeness i feel with them,
though not literally.
makes me feel happy, and blessed.
they're.. never not there?
yea, though occasionally i just cant stand some negative attitudes,
i know all of this comes in a package.

a BIG saga that just passed,
PROMOS.
urghrghrghrgr.
sad sad.
really.
thought i'll do better than midyears since i really studied harder than midyrs.
i don't know.
i've tried my best.
it might just be not enough.

i've heard sooooooooooooooo many friends,
some say they're promoting (thank goodness)
some say they're retaining (nth much for me to say since i might share the same fate as them)

i've thought it through.
retain or promote,
i'm gonna leave it in the hands of the UPPER ONE.
bottom line,
not to give up.
never give up.
never quit.
try and try and try.
you'll succeed soon.

it's true,
just like i thought about it all this while.
wearing the blue uniform came with a hefty price to pay.

my dearest polar.
if you're reading this,
i would like to tell you:
that i cant excess into your bloggggg.
yeap.
pls enable me please.
rowenalee.90@gmail.com
thanks.
see you after the horrific "P"
((:

Friday was.. horrific?
HMM.
yea, that's probably the word to use.
and presumably the WORST bus ride.
on my way to school,
after passing by toa payoh central,
this woman sat diagonally opposite me.
i didnt take much notice of her,
as i was dozing off every now and then.
then something, irksome disrupted me from me sleep.
someone kept going like "urgg urgg urgg"
(the vomit sound)
I turned back.
to my dismay,
that woman was actually digging her throat and regurgitating all she could.
there was nothing brown or disgusting,
only transparent liquid and lots lots of phlegmn (howevevr you spell it)
EWWWWW.
my stomach wrenched.
i pressed the bell.
went down,
with a queasy stomach :S

then at night,
read for latin mass,
celebrated by Fr Tay <---STRESSED
the reading was supposed to be done in english,
with the "thanks be to God" in latin.
so i was supposed to sing "Verbum Domini" in place of "thanks be to God"
and.
thanks to my sore sore sore throat,
i went "ver-bum-do-----MINI",
with the "MINI" sung OFF KEY!
fnojniuvcapbvnevwqmuipeqniuveqpmv
the congregation tried to hold their laughther.
the chior behind had broad smiles across their faces.
i felt... ... ... ...

LOL.
GG.
no more latin mass for me.
tyvvm. =D

I'm not studying yet.
!!!!! !!!!! !!!!!
I want to promote though!
how how how.!??!!??!

The Impossible Quiz

The measure of love, is to love without measure.

How true this is,
but how much are we able to fulfill of it?
Hmm..
Not everyone is a Mother Theresa.
This phrase came from St. Augustine by the way.
I don't think I've been living this phrase, not nowadays from what I know.
ah.
DOn't want to talk about it.

Last week's funfair,
i helped out.
And to my amazement,
I realised that church now has a lot of youth newbies.
Nice people there.
I like.
Hahah.
I feel like a convert all over again.
It seemed like a long long time since i fervently served.
Missed out on the June camp as well,
the pull-factor of the newbies to church.
I guess i'll be going to end of year camp.

At least i know,
church is always there for me,
unlike any other.