Jer 17:5-10

Thus says the LORD:
Cursed is the man who trusts in human beings,
who seeks his strength in flesh,
whose heart turns away from the LORD.
He is like a barren bush in the desert
that enjoys no change of season,
But stands in a lava waste,
a salt and empty earth.
Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD,
whose hope is the LORD.
He is like a tree planted beside the waters
that stretches out its roots to the stream:
It fears not the heat when it comes,
its leaves stay green;
In the year of drought it shows no distress,
but still bears fruit.
More tortuous than all else is the human heart,
beyond remedy; who can understand it?
I, the LORD, alone probe the mind
and test the heart,
To reward everyone according to his ways,
according to the merit of his deeds.

It's not easy becauses we all have our crosses to bear.
Some times our crosses are heavier than others,
some times, lighter.
There are moments when we just want to shut ourselves away,
but let's not.
We can make it work out.
just a little faith will do the trick.
I believe in you.

School's not easy,
assignments after assignments.
I'm doing what I should,
but not the extra (revision, exercises).
No time no time,
that's what they all say.

I miss you.

Here we are at the crossroads once again.

nice song. but here, i'm talking about reality.
reality can be sweet, can be bitter.
but most of the time, bitter.
for the past few weeks,
i've been typing nothing but history tutorial outlines after outlines.
endless amount of work to do.
i'm getting the hang of study study study every single day.
but.
it seems like all this studying isnt reaping meany rewards.
organic chem test was a disaster in my opinion.
and so was economics.
syllabus for maths are getting more complex,
plus having mr thomas ho for lecturer isnt the BEST thing for us.
Mr rajoo just had to pose a challenge for himself and Sarah soh,
to compete and see whose class performs better for h1 hist common test.
and now? it's a whole series of test coming up,
to drill and train us in essay content and writing skills.
somany things, so little time.
Parent teacher meeting = wake up call.
espcially the part where Bro Paul made us seem so indebted to our parents.
i felt the need to realise get the As.
i'd like to think i can.

I believe you can too.

time is passing so quickly.
project EAGLES and kayaking expedition have both come to an end.
Christmas is soon approaching.
so many new things to look forward to,
as we await the coming of baby Jesus.
I love this period so much.
plus tang is coming home from australia in 2 days time,
i cannot wait!
excitement is filling me to the brim,
i'm almost going to burst!
(=
I love my life.

okay enough of music lyrics for the past few posts.
many things happened.
and in the course of it,
i learnt that trusting people is important,
crucial, in many aspects.

i know i cant always doubt you.
i guess i'll have to trust you.
learn to believe in you.
just like you believed in me.
i'll try my best,
though it's not easy.

i love my guardian angel(:

When I see your smile
tears run down my face
I can't replace
and now that I'm strong
I have figured out
how this world turns cold
and it breaks through my soul
and I know I'll find deep inside me
I can be the one

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
even if saving you sends me to Heaven

It's ok..

Seasons are changing
and waves are crashing
and stars are falling
all for us
the days grow longer
and nights grow shorter

I can show you I'll be the one

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
even if saving you sends me to Heaven
cause you're my...you're my...my...
my true love
my whole heart
please don't throw that away
cause I'm here for you
please don't walk away.
please tell me you'll stay.

Use me as you will
pull my strings just for a thrill
and I know I'll be ok
though my skies are turning gray

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to Heaven

I'm holding on your rope,
Got me ten feet off the ground
And I'm hearing what you say but I just can't make a sound
You tell me that you need me
Then you go and cut me down, but wait
You tell me that you're sorry
Didn't think I'd turn around, and say...

That it's too late to apologize
It's too late
I said it's too late to apologize
It's too late

I'd take another chance, take a fall
Take a shot for you
And I need you like a heart needs a beat

But it's nothing new
I loved you with the a fire red-
Now it's turning blue, and you say...
"Sorry" like the angel
Heaven let me think was you
But I'm afraid...

It's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, it's too late
I said it's too late to apologize, yeah-
I said it's too late to apologize, yeah-
I'm holding on your rope, got me ten feet... off the ground...

Trying to find a way
Getting better every day
And I got you now I'm not alone
All i need in this life is one,
One thing to believe in

I've seen many a face
From young and too old
I've stolen their faith and I have broken their souls
Was here before Christ had forgave you your sins
And paid your price and sealed your fate within
Days have come to an end
Today's the day that we meet again
The self inflicted inebriation guilt never lies

I've been waiting for the chance to reunite this sick romance
Poison never hurt so good
So nice of you to speak of me
Your closest friend and enemy
And holy savior of masochists
Well its the dead end slave
From the alter to the grave
It's the last days of our life
In faith amen

Time, its been so long
And now there's nothing to say
I'm trying so hard to find the words to say
I'm tired of being, now I'm something I'm not
I can't believe and I never thought

Days would come to an end
Well maybe someday we'll meet again
If ever that day never comes
It would be too soon

I've been waiting for the chance to nullify this sick romance
Pull the cord to detonate
So sick of you don't speak of me
The reverend saint of misery
And holy savior of masochist
Well its the dead end slave
From the alter to the grave
It's the last days of our life
Well its the dead end slave
From the alter to the gray
It's the last days of our life
In faith amen

Now I've found a way
Getting better every day
And I got you now I'm not alone
All I need in this life is one
One thing to believe in

Trying to find a way
Getting better every day
And I got you now I'm not alone
All I need in this life is one
One thing to believe in

it's been an awfully long time since i last posted.
but it doesn't really matter since it's rotting and no one sees it.
hahahah.
just want to praise God for some,
or rather, MANY
fantastic things that happened to me.

of course top on the list would be
passing of supp paper!
yes yes.
i know it's not something to be proud of,
but i know that it was only through God that i made it through.
this phrase kept going through my mind
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
oh so true.
this means that i'll be promoting with 34 next year!
it feels so good to be able to promote to the next building.
sweet feeling.
people out there.
be thankful for your promotion yo.
(:

and of course,
in the midst of my boring mugging,
God sent me a special Guardian Angel,
just before Oral Presentation day.
and after that,
has been there to support me and pray for me
every step of the way towards my supp paper.
really cant live without this angel of mine now.

this struck me.

I'll be there for you through it all,
even if saving you sents me to heaven.

I feel so blessed(:
so once again,
THANK AND PRAISE GOD!

it was totally not up to mark,
or should i say,
worse than mid years.
improvements were for the less important subjects.
where's the passion; drive and interest?
why does it seem to have gone just like that?
urgh.
Assurance from friends seem so heart-rendering.
but deep inside,
only you know best.
you know how much you've put in.
10%; Bell Curve; impossible to retain so many; sub papers.
SO surreal.
I feel this pain all over again,
the last time,
in sec3,
experiencing what seemed to be empty promises.
chronologically backwards,
the last last time,
in sec1.
oh all those tears and partings.
yuck.

clara talked about finding joy
"I found the joy of my life. Have you?"
i was quick to think "of course not, my life's all failing"
then,
i looked at the earlier part of that same post,
"That the way to joy is to see things with a simple heart,
a simple attitude,
with simple eyes.
so everytime I get overwhelmed by reality,
I just need to run back to His house,
where there is just me and God.
it was just a wonderful time today.
I feel really really happy.
And I really enjoyed God's presence today.
I really enjoy spending time with Him like this,
finding moments where it's just me and Him."
and it made me smile,
for a while(:
cos the urge to run back to God all over again,
is so great.

it's been eons since i last blogged, according to christianna.
hahahha.
i've grown so so so much in this period!
hahahhaha.
okok, i'm laughing, cos the mood's light, and i'm just loving it.

friends are something true, and i hold dear.
i agree with matthias for a moment,
that friends will always outweigh relationships.
i really don't know what i would do without the bunch of them!
especially christianna and elizabeth.
two people,
this sudden closeness i feel with them,
though not literally.
makes me feel happy, and blessed.
they're.. never not there?
yea, though occasionally i just cant stand some negative attitudes,
i know all of this comes in a package.

a BIG saga that just passed,
PROMOS.
urghrghrghrgr.
sad sad.
really.
thought i'll do better than midyears since i really studied harder than midyrs.
i don't know.
i've tried my best.
it might just be not enough.

i've heard sooooooooooooooo many friends,
some say they're promoting (thank goodness)
some say they're retaining (nth much for me to say since i might share the same fate as them)

i've thought it through.
retain or promote,
i'm gonna leave it in the hands of the UPPER ONE.
bottom line,
not to give up.
never give up.
never quit.
try and try and try.
you'll succeed soon.

it's true,
just like i thought about it all this while.
wearing the blue uniform came with a hefty price to pay.

my dearest polar.
if you're reading this,
i would like to tell you:
that i cant excess into your bloggggg.
yeap.
pls enable me please.
rowenalee.90@gmail.com
thanks.
see you after the horrific "P"
((: