time is running out!
assignments are fortunately not piling up
thanks to the early wake up call
i got from my
mugger class.
hahaha scary shit.
so many things to study.
i musnt lag behind!
determined to make things work out
and excel even up till the last minute!
havent felt such a force in some time.
i'm so motivated!
maybe it's because of
the meal i'm going to eat later.
kimchi ramen!!!
wootz!

why do you shun my eyes
why do you look away from my glance
why do you not even care about my mere existence
anymore?
it hurts me when i see you like this.
i am sorry that things had to turn out this way.
it just happened so fast,
it seemed like just yesterday when we
sat at the stone table to talk things out.
that time, you could look pass everything
and pretend like nothing happened.
but i could not.
but why is it that things have to reach such a stage,
that you refuse to even acknowledge my presence now?
i know that no matter how much i apologise,
the hurt will still be there and it'll be difficult
for you to look pass it.
does that mean we cant even be friends?
i miss you,
the good times and bad
that we both shared.
without any holding back.
we freely spilt our thoughts.
i want those days back.
it pierces my heart to know that the one i was once closest to,
meeting almost everyday,
and even chatting with till the wee hours of the night,
cannot even be bothered at all now.
if it does even matter to you,
i want you to know that i still think
about the good old times.
movies
tauhuay
dark chocolate
punggol park
and who could forget,
adoration room?
the question you asked me,
recurs in my head countless times whenever i think of you:
would it have been different if you'd agreed to come to the club.
the answer is yes.
as much as i know it's brought you anger and bitterness,
i want you to know that i feel unbearable pain when
i think of all the possible
"what ifs"
should you have come
and made that difference.
i still cannot forgive myself that i had to do this to you when it was nearing your exams.
it is not fair to you,
because you deserve so much more,
and so much better,
especially since you'd been hurt before.
i must admit that i have done you wrong.
but to deny me as even a friend,
is really heartless.
as much as i hate being treated this way,
i so know that i deserve this.
other than sorry,
what can i do so that you would face me and
look me in the eye?
you are important,
you matter to me.
i will hate myself if i had to lose you forever
because you had given me so much,
more than i asked for,
i want to reciprocate.
would you give me a chance to,
dear friend?

go on.
carry on with what you're doing.
like i'm non-existent.
i dont give a F.

the heart says yes but the mind says no.
):

this has been one hectic week
and i am thankful its almost over.
tutorial on wednesday, done.
essay due today, done.
presentation today, done.
yes yes yes.

next week,
writing assignment due, monday
essay due, friday
presentation, following monday.

not bad.
i think i'm pretty much on track,
doing what i'm supposed to.
but what about electives.
they're gone case.
:/
as much as dont want to S/U,
it seems like i dont have a choice.
but since everyone's treating S/U like nothing,
then steady! i shall follow.
hahaha.
byebye intellectual property.
byebye 4hours of crap every tuesday.
:D

i've good news!
tmr's biz law lecture has been cancelled!
woohoo!
three cheers for mr ram!
its sucha rare treat.
nice.
but i'm staying in school for a while
because some one has a quiz at 6!
poor thing.
jiayou jiayou!

weekend's drawing near and i'm so looking forward to it!
going for two race pack collections,
haha so hardcore right.
i'm feeling quite scared.
lol.

p.s.
imissyoutoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

polar,
sometimes i feel its really weird.
i'm mostly in hall on monday and tuesday,
and it seems quite lifeless.
then wednesday is where activities all start,
and thats when you come,
and i hardly get to spend time with you.
no time to really hear your problems.
and even when we talk,
we've got to resort to facebook?!
oh man.
roomie, i just need to say
i'm really sorry if i've pangsehed you cos of AOB,
and left you in the room when you always wait for me to bathe.
you're loved too.
really!!
your water boiler is loved too :D

well projects and assignments are taking their toll and i
feel the pressure already.
deadlines seem to draw nearer faster than expected.
mixed feelings about a lot of things.
happy and sad and in between.

sam left on tuesday night and sent a quick sms.
there she left, just like that.
coming back in december, i hope?
that girl, i worry for her.
ohwell take care i still love you.

cant believe that the feeling of scepticism came in so fast.
i thought the nice feeling was supposed to last longer?!
but i guess it's been working out well?
yesterday had basketball training and
he came to stone table despite not finishing project to surprise!
:):):)
i love..
apples!
:):):)

the first xphysique meeting almost killed me,
with five deadlines to meet from now till
end of march next year.
i cant believe i actually agreed to that portfolio.
but since i've nodded my head,
i just have to bite the bullet and try my best.
programmers duty,
the two chiefs think "highly" of me,
put me in planning outings.
stress!!
there's still my core modules
and electives.
i am ashamed to say that during this week of holiday,
i only completed ONE assignment.
i am such a bummer!! ):

mon to wed was basically roller coaster
cos i was in hall throughout when i came
down with stomach flu,
diarrhoea like crazy.
would've just died if i was left alone.
missed so many events,
i am so upset with myself.
thankfully the people have been really understanding.
was only wed night that i was fully clear (THANKGOD).
and i could stay awake for threehours of lecture on thurs!
claps.. haha.

then on thurs night just before wanting to bathe at 1am,
i suddenly told gerald abt this idea of shifting our furniture to make
the room more cosy.
she said yes, and
we got to work!
damn funny how the loud furniture sounded at 130am,
i bet the neighbours were cursing us la.
but the turnout was i felt,
best (Y)
roomie love ftw!!
hahaaa.
what thurs night was supposed to be (study for midterms)
turned out otherwise.
haha rowena lee you suck.
fell asleep at 3am without even breathing any sociology text into myself.

midterm test today ended up a flop when they asked
about importance of empirical evidence,
ethnocentricism,
wtshit?!
good thing only ten percent this sem.
haha still happy about the room! grins.

oh yes!
i got into xphysique publicity main comm.
yes you didnt hear wrongly,
main comm.
think i'm killing myself.
but hey, it's only year1.
dont get to do this always.
and i'm also programmer for the next sports camp.
woots!
lastly,
aizat psycho-ed me into cultural subcomm for hall.
okay lor,
collect free points.
hahahaaa.

yes okay geraldine ho did play a part in making uni life fun, for like.. wednesdays thursdays and fridays(half)??? lol just kidding.

lots of things running through my mind these few days.
wont admit that i'm fully settled down.
still very slack with readings,
but got complete assignments at least! hahaaa.

i went for interview to be subcomm for publications in sports club.
got accepted, but i turned them down for fear of being unable to commit.
also went for Xphysique secretary/treasurer position.
haha so i can have a taste of how kevin's life is like, lol.
went for ball committee, to help next year pageant and d&d.
sounds like fun uh!
went for programmer position too.
that was my biggest challenge because they said that programmers only entitled 3 hall points, so if i commit to programmers, highly likely that i wont stay hall next year.
and honestly, i dont mind not staying hall. hall's screwing up my life (not your fault roomie)

i went home on tuesday to celebrate mother's birthday.
and realise that there were many things i missed,
and gotta admit,
took for granted since school started.

my mother,
father
sister
five of them
grandparents
church people
tauhuay
serangoon gardens
dark chocolates
city hall
late night phone calls

but it's very much like how i said in the beginning.
things have changed so much,
and can never ever return to the past like how it used to be.
i still think of the good old times.
but i tell myself, move on.
i cannot be unfair to you.
till then,
i really have so many things to tell you,
yet i know not where to start.

uni life is hectic.
but i'm enjoying it.
haha
new home
new friends
new school
new bed
new canteen

but nothing beats the good old times
old friends whom i have not forgotten!
wahaha lets meet up soon.
do you guys miss me as much as i miss you??
:D

You're like an indian summer in
The middle of a winter
LIke a hard candy
With a surprise centre
How do i get better
Once i've had the best
You said there's tons of fish in the water
So the waters i will test

He kissed my lips
I taste your mouth
He pulled me in
I was disgusted with myself

Cause when i'm with him
I am thinking you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one who was spending the night
Oh i wish that i was looking into

You're the best
And yes i do regret
How i could let myself
Let you go
Now the lesson's learnt
I touched it I was burnt
Oh i think you should know

Cause when i'm with him
I am thinking you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one who was spending the night
Oh i wish that i was looking into your eyes
Looking into your eyes
Oh won't you walk through
And bust in the door
And take me away
No more mistakes,
Cos in your eyes i'd like to stay

woots.
life is good.
quite stress.
haha
thank god.

you make me feel sick.






yesterday was one of the longest days of my life,
with many things going on which made me rather..
turned off.
final day of beach volleyball signed off on a good note
because of the good weather and nice people i got to know.
lectors meeting after that was pleasant because of
the pleasing turnout.
but nyc meeting was just bittersweet.
yes thats the word.
like damn gross la please.
hate it when you BIG BIG talk like some loud hailer,
but never really lifted a finger.
wtf. okay if you're really such a person,
i pity you.
but let's just hope you're not.
after all,
you've been in this longer than me.
maybe i was the one who's been naively doing what i was told to,
without even realising that i've been So cheated.
aiya whatever.

then it was off to the airport to send samantha off.
i must apologize for the very anti climax attitude.
i really needed to scream,
but i dont know for what.
ah crap.
i'm sorry sam,
if you're reading this.
i hope that all's good for you in melbourne.
shit, just mentioning the name scares me.
i'm going to miss you dear friend.

yesterday was just bad bad bad.
i cant wait for school to start and live in jurong.
shit man.