wad is a BROKEN SMILE? I asked, but it was not an answer i yearned for..

i want to LOL!!!

tmr is chinese oral. and today i just screamed my lungs out during sing-along session. damn hyper larh. so hyper until i zao-siah. WTH rite. dunno how i'm gonna talk tmr. I think today's training was good. though we missed POP training, we learnt the riflr drill. and that's lyk super duper cool!!! that's how I feel lar. learnt Rusok, Turun, Hormat Senja Ta. Hormat Senja Ta is damn freaking cool larh. It was so very stylo.. no wonder it's Carmen favourite drill.. ooh..

It's so boring nowadays. gotta prepare for mid-yr. but it seems like i'm not doing anything. and that's real pathetic. worst thing that can happen to anyone. I lost my chemistry book. DIE larh. how to study. I cant afford to drop chem! guess I'll buy a new book? it's lyk $27 lar.

yesterday had swim meet. the beginning was sian.. cos we had to do marshall duty. but all was soon over and done with. so fast. den we went to change, n went to swim. me. eliz. brenda. rachel. janetta. soon it was the sec3 inter-class relay. we were all scared. well.. actually I was the one who was scared. but we did our best. but i dun think i did my best. we came in 3rd. we got full-scap paper for our prize. our school is lyk so damn cheapo larh! aniwae, im used to it. seiously. after swim meet, i went to my parents office to get their photocopied ICs and went home to get my birth cert. den later aggie's dad fetched me n her to ICA building to make our ICs. cool. we felt so adult-ish. haha.. it was easy. done within minutes. i think my picture turned out well. LOL.

Later i went Pacific Plaza to meet sam. brenda. khiu. kathy. eliz. den we went to Ripcurl. saw the price of the wallet. whoa. tt's something. thank you all LOADS. den we went to Shaw House and chatted for 2hours flat. Interesting. got to noe MANY things which i never really thought of. sad too. but wad to do..

birthday was 4days ago. one of my best birthdays. wanna say a BIG THANKYOU TO a couple of peeps:

to sam, eliz, aggie, kathy, rachel, laodie, gina, lulu, sharon, eulynn, kniu, polar, jac, (sorry if i forgot anyone): for the awesome ripcurl wallet. simply love it. thanks you guys!!
to lulu: for the letter n why u dun lyk * *****
to huimin: for the cake filled wid your TLC. =) and your lollypop!!
to euniceL: for the porcelein hingebox!
to sharon n eulynn for the 4leaves choc cake!
to euniceT n clara: for the "jesus is the light of the world" cross, keychain, bookmark!!
to my sister: for the surprise!
to sab, huimin, Iryani, mel: for the testimonials!!
to tay chew fern: for punishing me and making me stand outside class.
to huifang ma'am: for letting me rest during training cos i wasn't feelin well..

im happie! ! ! ! !
but las yr was better though! haha..
why did you ****** this day! ! ? ? ! ? ?!! !

arh.. this is bad.. im so lazy nowadays. going home at 6plus.. den surfing the net till late at night. den go and sleep. gosh. this cant go on. today got npcc trng. bad.bad. jus found out a bad news: i've got training on 6apr, to make up for trng on 8apr swim meet. wth rite. and another bad news, NDP got no more vacancy. more wth lorr. i wanna join badly okay. las yr too. freak larr. this sucks okay.

today's training was bad too. aiting got the responsibility of the rap. this is so damn sucky. she had to run 11rounds. when we heard that there could be substitution, jac immediately volunteered. honestly when that happened, jac really showed herself as a good fren. no. im not being sarcastic. that's something not everyone will do without a moment of hesitation. later i wanted to take over jac. but adel ma'am dun allow alr. den later ms ong came to talk to us. we sorta heaved a sigh of relief. quite relaxed. tokin abt the events we were gonna represent school. so happie tt me jac eunice rachel could join NDP together, but sadly, no more vacancy. damn sad larr. oh man. later went hall to practise the steps for how to receive award. alvina and jenny ma'am came back, n we TALKED to them. and i really mean TALK. so stern. but me n jac were partly lookin at the basketball game they were playin. stupid lar. huimin say, "dun make jac jealous lar" so bad. here we are havin serious talk, dere they are laughing at us. thanks a lot yupps.

dunno whether to like school, love school, or hate school. i haf 3 practical clowns teaching my class la. 1)gilbert tay 2)Lim PY 3)Tay CF. really.
Gilbert Tay is known for his infamous "zao-sia" when talking. he cant talk properly one can. cant stop laughing at him. we count the no. of times he zao-sia, and in 2 periods, he zao-sia 12times okay. tt's lyk.. out of this world.
Lim Poh Yin, she's damnn cute lar. tt is, adorable but ugly. fishball wid no hair. shave all her hair. me lu sharon. laugh lyk siao during her lesson. we listen to none of her crap lar.. and she said she lived thru the 1950s.. n she escaped death twice, from the riots n stuff. WTH. me n lucia were lyk, "why didn't you die?" oops. i feel so bad. she's totally our laughing symbol for SS.
den comes Tay CF. goodness. dere was this grafitti on the table "Tay CF very cute. Chio Til I drool" den lucia saw it, burst in laughter. n the next moment, the whole class was in deep roaring laughter. so damn funnie. den Tay F was seen Am-chio-ing to herslf lar. tt seriously is the most hilarious thing. den she go toilet to miao herself. dot dot dot.

tmr is AC. so excited. i wonder wad the prize is? aniwae, gonna go swimming wid gina, rachel n brenda. gonna sleep now. time now: 2337hours

we came in 4th for the netball competition which our school organised. 3rd was siglap, 2nd was cedar, and 1st was PLMGS! yupp. they're good, good sportsmanship and good attitude too. not lyk some school. i dun wanna say.. they rock man! i love my GK lots! she's cool.. haha.. someone oso miss their GD rite! made some new frens thru this competition. but.. becos of this competition, i miss 2 hours of Amaths lesson. wah lau, throughout this 2hrs, annie ong taught the whole of logarithm. wad the hell. i didn't noe a single thing lor. but when we went to her classroom, she was giving out the test paper, whoa, i was scared! good thing i passed. cant afford to fail any subjects. cos i cant afford to drop any subject.

today is good friday, had a re-enactment of the stations of the cross. nice.. sad actually. the jesus, christopher, acted damn well. all the aunties were practically crying. well, i cried a little to la. it was so real, felt so much for jesus. it was even more hair-standing when mary hugged jesus and cried. oh my goodness, so over-whelming. mass was very very so so so long. 3hours. cool. I bet easter vigil will be lyk at least 3-4 hours? ya.. wad do you expect, 7 readings, about 6 psalms, and dere's still the sacrament of baptism, and the crism oil thing. wah, everything going on, at least 5 hours. whoa, tmr must take a long long nap, if not i wont be able to stay awake till 12am? haha..

yesterday was maundy thursday. went church visiting wid sam, lynete, and her mum and brother. i concluded one thing. lynette and her family members walk very fast. yupp.. quite eye-opening. first, we were at Nativity church to attend the mass. den we went St Anne's church, but i couldn't find aggie dere cos there were far to may ppl. den went IHM, nothing much.. den went Cathedral. sad to say, it was my first time, i was lyk so sua-ku. looks really ancient. lyk a roman european church. den went St Joseph's church, actually i didn't noe it was st Joseph's church, but i asked ard and oso i saw the statue of st joseph and the baby jesus. ya.. den went to St Peter and Paul, quite run-down.. dere was loads of food tho. den went novena, but sam was not feeling well, even felt lyk throwing up. poor thing, in the end lynette sent her home, and my parents fetched me home.

just found out tt Mid-Year exams is just 5 weeks away. crazy.

LOLS!! thursday had sports day! and in our class race we came in 2nd!! soooo happie, at least now 3F'05 is known for something pleasant!! =)) yuppie.. the rest of the time was doing marshall.. in the sun.. thanks a lot.. den later went compass for lunch, didn't wanna go kfc, but in the end we went in, stayed for 1hr plus plus. den went back to school for basketball.. quite fun larrh.. as usual.. hahahahaha.. oh ya.. we had a "new-comer".. we had a LOT of "FUN" wid him yupps.. mr gilbert tay played wid us. his shooting, jumping and lay-ups were soooooo stylo.. ... ... ... den later went to RA wid aggie, sharon n huimin. stoned dere the way thruout. RA is a new-found place founded by huimin aggie n me. it's so nice. n we found is on wednesday. it was more interestin on wed, truth-or-dare!! haha.. oh ya.. n on wed dere was this farting freaky incident at compass. dere was this fart that was lingering wherever we went. one at kfc, another at royal sporting house. err.. scariee.. aniwae, wad's wid the quietness??!! lols.. but i love that place.. just love it.. it's lyk a living sanctuary. yess! later went bck to compass pt, sat in front of 7-11. n I told them wad i was thinkin, argh!! poured out my everything. yup, my everything. felt so much better, but thanks a lot for laughing mans!! it helped a LOT.

on friday was normal. -normal=bad- npcc was bad. wore full uni, n went to sengkang neighbourhood to educate the public. wow. wad an eye-opener. ppl were lyk: "oh thanks, but i noe how to teach myself in public" .. .. but some were nice. they stood at their doorstep n listened. there was this guy, super funny. he opened the door, stood dere n stoned, listened to wad me n my partner had to say, n suddenly broke from his silent n said, "common sense right.." errr, ya.. he was right. lyk hu dunno??? lols.. den went home, bathed, and went for stations of the cross to take over jerry. argh! was late for 15mins. sorrie leonard!! thanks for doin my job for me.

today, saturday. jac's birthday. i wished her happie birthday. but no prezzie. sorrie. =)) den me, tang, jac, adel lau, amanda, cjy, iryani, michelle, gayathri went to paya lebar cc to practice netball. damn relax. played a few frenly matches, n cjy is good. serious. den went macdonalds for lunch. but i didn't eat. but i took a bite of jac's nugget, ate her fries n drank her coke. haha.. later i went to church for the rehearsal.wah, so hot. n i was so tired. but it was okay.. n soon over. went to 401 had lunch wid amy, isis n adeline. adeline is sooo smart. found out she got 8 pts for Olevels. A levels i not so sure. n she was tokin abt her teaching experience. so nice, the way she describe how the students treat her. so sweet.. =))

march holidays are so NOT lyk march holidays. i gotta go to school everyday. yuppie! everyday.
monday-netball trng, chem & physics project
tuesday-NCO camp
Wednesday-NCO camp
Thursday-netball competition, Emath remedial
Friday-Amaths tuition

so busy right.. just simply love it.

yes.. after talking to us.. I know it. WE know it. but even if we WANT to change, we are weak, wad can we do? Nobody is helping us. well.. not really their fault, os they do not even noe we need help. actually, they are the one who need help. seriously speaking.. they are a hopeless bunch of morons. I dunno why i got myself into this freaking unnecessary mess. so extra right.. well.. it's no use.. i try to help them.. they dun wanna help themselves. If they don't help themselves, but other people try to help them. the help they get is utterly futile. but me together wid *u noe who* will try our very best till the end.. but who noes when the "end" is.. sad sad.. I cannot give up. my definition of "cannot" is that i am forced to.

only *you all* know wad im saying and how I feel.
and "you all" know who can help us.
I said it before..
right..

today had chem test. argh.. my nightmare. dun think i did well.. wad do you expect, no textbook. I lost my textbook, $26.88 okay. no cheap hor. wah lau. crap. crap. but wad's done is done. lols.. listening to mockingbird now, reminds of sharon yim. charlie... charlie, wherever you are, here i come.. went to watch hide and seek wid rachel, sharon, sam, alethea, eu lynn and dyan. but before went lido to watch, we went sajc funfair. isis asked us to go one. at first rachel n sharon wanted to go haunted house. but queue was too long, n i wonder if they chickened out or sumthing.. haha. ya, n we were playing those water guns n water bombs. was completely soaked when we left. argh.. so cold. -freezing- imagine the cinema oso so cold.. ..brrrrr.. so cold.. stayed in the toilet for 10mins at the hair-dryer to warm myself. ahhh.. den went home. to celebrate my dad birthday.

haha.. you were lyk do idiot okay. you tell me not to do this to you. But you always do that to me. whoa, wad's that supposed to mean? idiot idiot!! Good thing I still have another. If not I think im so gonna faint. serious. I just -black out-

today is boring, actually wanted to do 2 things: visit ms ong and revise the knots and lashings with rachel and tang for campcraft test next week. im so scared, this test will determine whether i get my campcraft badge. jus pray hard that i do well. =)) but instead of doing these 2 things, i went to tampines mall dere to buy skirt for my sis for her sunday readings. argh, tomorrow i goin to read oso, but i still dunno wad im reading, hope it's prayers of the faithful, the shortest of them all. haha..

yesterday
chemistry was scary as usual, mr teoh keep on telling us to go visit his website, uhhh... i dunno wad to say, his website is so packed can. hai.. aniwae, history was boring as usual. lols, we tried to bluff her that the test was next week, but she was just too smart, n went to ask sharna and the guai guai ppl. den we had training, my gosh, 2 whole hours of foot drills, want my life eh. but the sad thing being, we still have yet to master belok. sad right. haiz, but good thing i was not called out of the squad. so scared ok!


I know that you don't want these to happen. and even if they happen, they happen for a reason. which has been planned by God and regretting it would be too late. forget the past, cherish the present and look forward to the future. =)
I wish I could accept the fact. but it's too heavy for me. I feel very.. .. It's totally out of this world. how could anyone think of doing this sort of thing to the other party. Don't they even spare a thought to the other person, who ought to be given their own points of view? I really need God's grace, whenever I see you, how I wish I could give you one tight slap across your face so that I can wake you up from the sleep that you're in for such a long time.
It's painful, but you do not feel it. It really disgusts me to see you in this state. I don't know how I'm ever going to manage for one more year. But they say, time flies, in the blink of an eye, well.. I just want to blink my eye, and pray that all this is over. It not only hurts me, it hurts many people around you.
One person whom you have so secretly hurt, you think she is not feeling it, or you think that the one in pain is you, do you know that she's actually the bearer of all these torment? I bet you do not feel an inch of it, do you? To her, it might seem that it's nothing. but in all our hearts, we know, she knows too, in fact, too well. you tell her not to treat you hostile, but look at the way you treat her. worse than a beast. just wake up. alright?

today is boring, actually wanted to do 2 things: visit ms ong and revise the knots and lashings with rachel and tang for campcraft test next week. im so scared, this test will determine whether i get my campcraft badge. jus pray hard that i do well. =)) but instead of doing these 2 things, i went to tampines mall dere to buy skirt for my sis for her sunday readings. argh, tomorrow i goin to read oso, but i still dunno wad im reading, hope it's prayers of the faithful, the shortest of them all. haha..

yesterday
chemistry was scary as usual, mr teoh keep on telling us to go visit his website, uhhh... i dunno wad to say, his website is so packed can. hai.. aniwae, history was boring as usual. lols, we tried to bluff her that the test was next week, but she was just too smart, n went to ask sharna and the guai guai ppl. den we had training, my gosh, 2 whole hours of foot drills, want my life eh. but the sad thing being, we still have yet to master belok. sad right. haiz, but good thing i was not called out of the squad. so scared ok!


I know that you don't want these to happen. and even if they happen, they happen for a reason. which has been planned by God and regretting it would be too late. forget the past, cherish the present and look forward to the future. =)
I wish I could accept the fact. but it's too heavy for me. I feel very.. .. It's totally out of this world. how could anyone think of doing this sort of thing to the other party. Don't they even spare a thought to the other person, who ought to be given their own points of view? I really need God's grace, whenever I see you, how I wish I could give you one tight slap across your face so that I can wake you up from the sleep that you're in for such a long time.
It's painful, but you do not feel it. It really disgusts me to see you in this state. I don't know how I'm ever going to manage for one more year. But they say, time flies, in the blink of an eye, well.. I just want to blink my eye, and pray that all this is over. It not only hurts me, it hurts many people around you.
One person whom you have so secretly hurt, you think she is not feeling it, or you think that the one in pain is you, do you know that she's actually the bearer of all these torment? I bet you do not feel an inch of it, do you? To her, it might seem that it's nothing. but in all our hearts, we know, she knows too, in fact, too well. you tell her not to treat you hostile, but look at the way you treat her. worse than a beast. just wake up. alright?

Broken, this fragile thing now

And I can't, I can't pick up the pieces

And I've thrown my words all around

But I can't, I can't give you a reason

I feel so broken up (so broken up)

And I give up (I give up)

I just want to tell you, so you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you

You are my only one

I let go, there's just no one that gets me like you do

You are my only, my only one

Made my mistakes, let you down

And I can't, I can't hold on for too long

Ran my whole life in the ground

And I can't, I can't get up when you're gone

And something's breaking up (breaking up)

I feel like giving up (like giving up)

I won't walk out until you know

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you

You are my only one

I let go, there's just no one who gets me like you do

You are my only my only one

Here I go, so dishonestly

Leave a note for you, my only one

And I know you can see right through me

So let me go and you will find someone

Here I go, scream my lungs out and try to get to you

You are my only one

I let go, there's just no one, no one like you

You are my only, my only one

My only one

My only one

My only one

You are my only, my only one

today we went to plaza sing to celebrate khiu's birthday. yup, kinda catched up wid khiu a little bit, after of 2 yrs of no frens communication. ate at long john.. again! ya, not sain leh. haha, lao die we all were continuously asking for crumbs, and the ppl there are forever continuously saying, "oh, sorrie, no more." wadever la. so ngiaw, however you spell it. typical singaporean! haha, went action city and stoned in front of all the winnie the pooh stuff toys. oso dunno why. hehe.. not as if i lyk winnie the pooh so much. guess i'll buy sharon another winnie the pooh's fren, dat is, tigger. her tigger is lyk rotting, in my bag. hahaha.. n we took neoprints. 8 ppl in that small puny space. but we all fit into the picture fortunately. nice. i saw sam's mum. haha, she opens this small stall in front of yoshi. cool, wad she does. the sculptures are cute. lols.. later went back seng kang wid hui min, eliz, rachel n lao die. went to play tennis wid hui min and eliz. yesss!!! finally learnt tennis. i love my two coaches, hui min and pamela seah. =p -freak-

ya.. im sure, jesse McCartney is cute. don't say he's "okay lar" okay!

i want to watch Constantine, mus go out together one of these days ok? happie birthday priscilla! i love you!!!

as usual... physics sucks and i was stoning in front of the workbook 24/7. gosh. i need help.