A part of me wants to find you tomorrow, really.
But I know I can't, so..

i tried, talking to you. so much.
and you judge me merely based on pictures.
i dont know what to say.
maybe i should follow your orders, and stop.

回头吧不要走不要这样离开我
恨太多没结果往事重提是折磨

Hao xin fen shou?

Well, you succeeded.
You asked how and what must you do so that you can get back and even with me right?
Its coming true. I feel the pinch now.
I miss you like crazy now, and you refuse to talk to me.
How long do I have to endure this?

Le, they say that in order to neutralize the alcohol effect in your body
its good to take acidic stuff to balance out.
like lime or lemon.
but i think you'll just cringe right.
eat orange or something okay.
i learnt during sports ball that cheese can make you less wasted too,
but you dont like cheese!
ohwell.
haha mogu mogu mango is not bad =)

is there really no way out?

One last thing, so important how could I forget!!
Please take care tomorrow and don't get drunk.
But don't worry. I'm always here I promise you..

Figured that you're not gonna talk to me.
I know it's your right to avoid me,
and wish to have nothing to do with me.
I would, if I were you.
So I guess virtual reality is the best and only way I can convey
my one sided thoughts to you.
Which honestly, is more than I can ask for,
If you even still read this blog of mine.
I will use this blog to talk to you, all the days that you ignore me.
This blog will be my best friend,
My only tool of communicating with you.
And that's cos I never treasured the real moments I had you by my side.
Foolish rowena.

Just wanna tell you that today as I was walking back,
There was this huge cockroach at the flats!
I walked past it. Are you proud of me, still?
And when I reach home, I realize my mum baked pineapple tarts already!
Wanna take some to you,
but don't know if they'll still be fresh by then.
Oh well. Chinese new year's coming so soon.
Guess what, I'm starting on my tutorials this week already.
Nat's vibes are really getting to me :/

tata for now =)

I will try again..

I can't let go. I don't want to let go. Something tells me that I can't let go and I won't let go. I don't want to let goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

Kill me please

i dont know if what i'm doing is correct,
but i know its the convenient way for me.
i dont know what my heart says,
i just know in my mind,
that i need to stop hurting you.
how else?
you wont believe me.
i think of you always,
your pig face is still on my mobile.
gosh.
this is not easy.
its my fault from the start.
i thank you for being gracious and loving,
and giving me the second chance which i should have treasured more.
but after monday night, i being a girl
cannot help but have my reservations.
its wrong to feel that way because our relationship means so much more than just that.
but i feel that i have become uncertain.
makes me wonder what will happen in future.

i say it is not true that i am like my "past".
my past haunts me in my mind to this very day.
my past was pure heartless,
doesnt blink even after doing wrong and been exposed.
i tried. i really tried.
i just cant find that flame back.
how can i continue if its just mere human effort i'm putting?
i'm not trying to justify.
i'm not telling you to stop blaming me.
i just hope you see my point of view.
i hate being hated.

i wanna learn to love you again.